Knowledge

This section contains recommendations of books for LGBTIQ and gender and sexual diversity therapists and clients, and provides links to other suitable organisations.

If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex or any other gender or sexual preference and are seeking literature about the societal and personal issues surrounding sexuality and gender, or if you are a therapist who is working with clients such as this and looking for texts to gain a greater understanding, then start your search here.

Once you have found what you are looking for, we highly recommend that you check out Gay’s The Word, a friendly and well stocked bookshop in central London that should meet your requirements. If you do not live in London, consider supporting us by visiting our Amazon shop and purchasing books from there.

We are currently in the process of transferring all of our resources from our old site into these pages, and will continue to add books and material regularly, so this section will continue to grow and expand. Please do visit again if you cannot find what you are looking for just yet. We are also open to suggestions, so if you would like to recommend an appropriate book or link, feel free to contact us.

SM 101 - A Realistic Introduction

SM 101 - A Realistic Introduction Image

Jay Wiseman. Greenery Press, 1996

Key Elements: covers everything you need to know about getting started or exploring SM, also there is an entertaining thought related to SM on every page it is a realistic introduction to SM

Preliminaries

Contains the purpose of the book, why the book is being written
Sexual extremes (what’s going too far)
Who is this book for? (Primarily for the person who has yet contact the SM community, the book in gender neutral and includes basic and advanced SM
What is SM? (Who is defining it)?
Is SM for you? (Those who are self-motivated towards SM and the other motivated people)
Why on earth would anybody want to do this stuff in the first place? (Covers curiosity and limbic system)
People against SM and the psychology of masochism, not harming self and not harming others
A tough decision (writing and publishing about SM)
Coming out (the author’s own SM coming out story)
The sociology, politics, and economics of SM
SM versus abuse
Warning signals (how to know when a relationship is abusive)
The cycle of violence (when emotions reach the boiling point and abuse happens)

Basic Basics
Consent (one of the most important issues)
The silent alarm (protecting yourself against that very dangerous one percent of the population)
Safe words (the signal that the play is becoming too intense)
The ethics of safe words (the number one safety measure)
Nonverbal safe words
Checking in (verbal and non-verbal)
Negotiation (failure to negotiate well is the single most common cause of a bad SM session, the 16 basic points that a good basic SM negotiation should cover, includes pre-session negotiations, group negotiations, post session negotiation and feedback, a sample of negotiation
Variability (how different people react)
Learning how it feels (testing it on yourself for yourself)
Setting the scene (time, cleanliness, equipment preparation, privacy)
Other matters (smell, taste, clocks and watches, urinal, the telephone)
Finding a Partner.
Personal ads, Writing and placing an ad, Personal ads in cyberspace, SM clubs, Sign and signals, Men looking for women (personal ads in sex magazines, recognising and dealing with letter freaks personal ads in swingers magazines, personal ads in singles papers, finding a partner on your own, single bars, dating services), Women looking for women, Men looking men , Introducing SM into an existing relationship (includes three role plays to get started)

Bondage 1A (includes diagrams)
Some basic bondage principles, Types of rope (marking the midpoint, lengths, storing rope), Knots (the square knot. The surgeon’s knot, the running loop, tying off the end, the lark’s head, obi knot, cinch loops), Basic bondage techniques, (Tying the wrists, tying the ankles, tying the knees, tying the elbows), Shoulder pain in a bound submissive, Lark’s head bondage, The restraint knot, Breast bondage, Genital bondage, Binding the female genitals, Binding the male genitals, Binding the cock, The hogtie position (the basic hogtie, the military hogtie, hogtie alternative, hogtie variations), Using a bar as bondage implement (how to lash wrists to a bar), Tying a submissive to the bed, Notes and hints on bondage, First bondage, Precautions when playing in isolated areas, Self-bondage, On being untied,

Bondage 1B
Gags (types of gags, panty gags), Blindfolds (when to use a blindfold, notes on using blindfolds, blindfold material), Earplugs, Hoods, Handcuffs (a note about handcuff quality, thumb cuffs, leg irons), Leather cuffs, Suspension, Chains, locks, etc. (chain safety measures, padlocks, how to deal with the different keys needed for each lock, special links, carabiners, double snaps, ribbon, tape, plastic wrap),

Giving and Receiving Erotic Pain
What is pain, Giving pain (the nod, the now), How hard should I hit (one to ten), Receiving pain, Straight time and checking in later,

Flagellation
When to whip, What about whipping her breast, Whipping positions (the standing position, the bent-at-the-waist position, the prone position, beware of ‘neck snap’, watch for internal injury, take care of your own body too, the pillowcase), Hands-on-flagellation (spanking and a few spanking tips), Paddling (and the slapper), The riding crop (how to use a riding crop), Whips and floggers (single tailed whips, multi-tailed whips, how to make a ‘mini-flogger’ from two bootlaces, backhand, twirling, sideways figure eight, underhand, from in front, overhand, snapping, holding the tails) Canes (and a few words about the lovely coat hanger), The pounder (a message implement that consist of a small ball mounted on a flexible strip of metal with a handle on the other hand)

Clamps (a lazy dominant’s best friend) Putting them on, Taking them off, What to do after the clamp is on, Standing clamps, The bed of nails, Clamping the nipples (applying clamps to nipples, where should you place the nipple clamps), Clamping the genitals (clamping the male genitals, clamping the female genitals), Clamping other parts of the body,

Lubricants, Erotic ‘Torture’, Using your hands and mouth, Hot and cold play, Candle wax, menthol play, hair blower, ice cubes, Conventional sex toys (vibrator, ben wa balls), Other forms of sensation (abrasion play, semi-piercing,’ play piercing’, suction cups, electricty play, blade play), Masturbation games (hooker’s trick number 1, brush strokes, pin in the skin, tap dancing, climbing the mountain, push here to start, flat top, ‘show me how you like it’, thumb enchanted evening, a hair-raising trick, fill her up, perineum punch, make a sanke, up and down 1, up and down 2, sexual feeling, do the twist, a moveable fist, open says me, a one a two and a three, trident, give him a wring, close but no cigar, ball pull, tes tickles, pin and win, before and after, milking it for all it’s worth, jilting off, a warm wet touch

Humiliation (the most difficult SM related subject to understand and agree upon)

Dominant/Submissive Interactions
On being a dominant, On being a submissive (pushy bottoms, smart assed masochist-SAM, resistance, topping from below), Beginning and ending a session, Beginning a submissive training, The four basic duties of a submissive (to serve your needs, to obey your orders, to accept your domination, to please your desires), The collar (an instrument of ownership and control), Basic position training (keeping things in perspective, commands), Speech training (the submissive should usually speak only when directly spoken to or after being given permission to speak), Slave duties, Punishment,

SM Relationships
24/7 relationships (ethics, can inequality and intimacy co-exist?), Non-traditional partnerships

SM Organisations
(finding your local community, etiquette, when there is no local community, gender balance, social meetings, programs) Parties (deciding to put on a party, who will do what) More formal organisational structures

General Safety Considerations

Musing on safety, SM and risk, What about leaving marks, SM during pregnancy (emotional changes, sexual changes, important cautions), Common causes of SM disasters, First aid and CPR training, First aid supplies, Common SM emergencies (loss of emotional balance, freak outs, falls, fainting, what if the dominant faints, sudden loss of electrical power), Safety checklist
SM and Safer Sex
A Novice Woman’s Quick Reference Guide to Erotically Dominating a Submissive Man
SM Sayings
Related Practices
(Age play, anal play, bisexuality, breath control, circumcision, cauretry, enemas, fetishism, Gay and lesbian resources, non-monogamous relationships, piercing, cutting and branding, prostitute support groups, tantric sex, transvestism, and transexuality
Finding Help with Problems
(Where and how to find local resources)
References and Resources

SM 101 - A Realistic Introduction

SM 101 - A Realistic Introduction Image

Jay Wiseman. Greenery Press, 1996

Key Elements: covers everything you need to know about getting started or exploring SM, also there is an entertaining thought related to SM on every page it is a realistic introduction to SM

Preliminaries

Contains the purpose of the book, why the book is being written
Sexual extremes (what’s going too far)
Who is this book for? (Primarily for the person who has yet contact the SM community, the book in gender neutral and includes basic and advanced SM
What is SM? (Who is defining it)?
Is SM for you? (Those who are self-motivated towards SM and the other motivated people)
Why on earth would anybody want to do this stuff in the first place? (Covers curiosity and limbic system)
People against SM and the psychology of masochism, not harming self and not harming others
A tough decision (writing and publishing about SM)
Coming out (the author’s own SM coming out story)
The sociology, politics, and economics of SM
SM versus abuse
Warning signals (how to know when a relationship is abusive)
The cycle of violence (when emotions reach the boiling point and abuse happens)

Basic Basics
Consent (one of the most important issues)
The silent alarm (protecting yourself against that very dangerous one percent of the population)
Safe words (the signal that the play is becoming too intense)
The ethics of safe words (the number one safety measure)
Nonverbal safe words
Checking in (verbal and non-verbal)
Negotiation (failure to negotiate well is the single most common cause of a bad SM session, the 16 basic points that a good basic SM negotiation should cover, includes pre-session negotiations, group negotiations, post session negotiation and feedback, a sample of negotiation
Variability (how different people react)
Learning how it feels (testing it on yourself for yourself)
Setting the scene (time, cleanliness, equipment preparation, privacy)
Other matters (smell, taste, clocks and watches, urinal, the telephone)
Finding a Partner.
Personal ads, Writing and placing an ad, Personal ads in cyberspace, SM clubs, Sign and signals, Men looking for women (personal ads in sex magazines, recognising and dealing with letter freaks personal ads in swingers magazines, personal ads in singles papers, finding a partner on your own, single bars, dating services), Women looking for women, Men looking men , Introducing SM into an existing relationship (includes three role plays to get started)

Bondage 1A (includes diagrams)
Some basic bondage principles, Types of rope (marking the midpoint, lengths, storing rope), Knots (the square knot. The surgeon’s knot, the running loop, tying off the end, the lark’s head, obi knot, cinch loops), Basic bondage techniques, (Tying the wrists, tying the ankles, tying the knees, tying the elbows), Shoulder pain in a bound submissive, Lark’s head bondage, The restraint knot, Breast bondage, Genital bondage, Binding the female genitals, Binding the male genitals, Binding the cock, The hogtie position (the basic hogtie, the military hogtie, hogtie alternative, hogtie variations), Using a bar as bondage implement (how to lash wrists to a bar), Tying a submissive to the bed, Notes and hints on bondage, First bondage, Precautions when playing in isolated areas, Self-bondage, On being untied,

Bondage 1B
Gags (types of gags, panty gags), Blindfolds (when to use a blindfold, notes on using blindfolds, blindfold material), Earplugs, Hoods, Handcuffs (a note about handcuff quality, thumb cuffs, leg irons), Leather cuffs, Suspension, Chains, locks, etc. (chain safety measures, padlocks, how to deal with the different keys needed for each lock, special links, carabiners, double snaps, ribbon, tape, plastic wrap),

Giving and Receiving Erotic Pain
What is pain, Giving pain (the nod, the now), How hard should I hit (one to ten), Receiving pain, Straight time and checking in later,

Flagellation
When to whip, What about whipping her breast, Whipping positions (the standing position, the bent-at-the-waist position, the prone position, beware of ‘neck snap’, watch for internal injury, take care of your own body too, the pillowcase), Hands-on-flagellation (spanking and a few spanking tips), Paddling (and the slapper), The riding crop (how to use a riding crop), Whips and floggers (single tailed whips, multi-tailed whips, how to make a ‘mini-flogger’ from two bootlaces, backhand, twirling, sideways figure eight, underhand, from in front, overhand, snapping, holding the tails) Canes (and a few words about the lovely coat hanger), The pounder (a message implement that consist of a small ball mounted on a flexible strip of metal with a handle on the other hand)

Clamps (a lazy dominant’s best friend) Putting them on, Taking them off, What to do after the clamp is on, Standing clamps, The bed of nails, Clamping the nipples (applying clamps to nipples, where should you place the nipple clamps), Clamping the genitals (clamping the male genitals, clamping the female genitals), Clamping other parts of the body,

Lubricants, Erotic ‘Torture’, Using your hands and mouth, Hot and cold play, Candle wax, menthol play, hair blower, ice cubes, Conventional sex toys (vibrator, ben wa balls), Other forms of sensation (abrasion play, semi-piercing,’ play piercing’, suction cups, electricty play, blade play), Masturbation games (hooker’s trick number 1, brush strokes, pin in the skin, tap dancing, climbing the mountain, push here to start, flat top, ‘show me how you like it’, thumb enchanted evening, a hair-raising trick, fill her up, perineum punch, make a sanke, up and down 1, up and down 2, sexual feeling, do the twist, a moveable fist, open says me, a one a two and a three, trident, give him a wring, close but no cigar, ball pull, tes tickles, pin and win, before and after, milking it for all it’s worth, jilting off, a warm wet touch

Humiliation (the most difficult SM related subject to understand and agree upon)

Dominant/Submissive Interactions
On being a dominant, On being a submissive (pushy bottoms, smart assed masochist-SAM, resistance, topping from below), Beginning and ending a session, Beginning a submissive training, The four basic duties of a submissive (to serve your needs, to obey your orders, to accept your domination, to please your desires), The collar (an instrument of ownership and control), Basic position training (keeping things in perspective, commands), Speech training (the submissive should usually speak only when directly spoken to or after being given permission to speak), Slave duties, Punishment,

SM Relationships
24/7 relationships (ethics, can inequality and intimacy co-exist?), Non-traditional partnerships

SM Organisations
(finding your local community, etiquette, when there is no local community, gender balance, social meetings, programs) Parties (deciding to put on a party, who will do what) More formal organisational structures

General Safety Considerations

Musing on safety, SM and risk, What about leaving marks, SM during pregnancy (emotional changes, sexual changes, important cautions), Common causes of SM disasters, First aid and CPR training, First aid supplies, Common SM emergencies (loss of emotional balance, freak outs, falls, fainting, what if the dominant faints, sudden loss of electrical power), Safety checklist
SM and Safer Sex
A Novice Woman’s Quick Reference Guide to Erotically Dominating a Submissive Man
SM Sayings
Related Practices
(Age play, anal play, bisexuality, breath control, circumcision, cauretry, enemas, fetishism, Gay and lesbian resources, non-monogamous relationships, piercing, cutting and branding, prostitute support groups, tantric sex, transvestism, and transexuality
Finding Help with Problems
(Where and how to find local resources)
References and Resources

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