Knowledge

This section contains recommendations of books for LGBTIQ and gender and sexual diversity therapists and clients, and provides links to other suitable organisations.

If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex or any other gender or sexual preference and are seeking literature about the societal and personal issues surrounding sexuality and gender, or if you are a therapist who is working with clients such as this and looking for texts to gain a greater understanding, then start your search here.

Once you have found what you are looking for, we highly recommend that you check out Gay’s The Word, a friendly and well stocked bookshop in central London that should meet your requirements. If you do not live in London, consider supporting us by visiting our Amazon shop and purchasing books from there.

We are currently in the process of transferring all of our resources from our old site into these pages, and will continue to add books and material regularly, so this section will continue to grow and expand. Please do visit again if you cannot find what you are looking for just yet. We are also open to suggestions, so if you would like to recommend an appropriate book or link, feel free to contact us.

Affirmative Gay Relationships: Key steps in finding a life partner

Affirmative Gay Relationships: Key steps in finding a life partner Image

Neil Kaminsky, 2003.

Key Elements:
Covers all of the theoretical how to’s involved in finding and partner, starting a happy relationship and keeping it going
Written using his personal perspective, real life antidotes and realistic personal situations the author lays out the key steps to involved in encountering a real life partner. A real life partner is defined as, ‘someone who materially enhances your life’. The quotes and information in the book come from gay men who have completed a questionnaire, mental health professionals and the author.

Chapter one covers how what someone does or does or does not do attracts a partner and what gets in the way of finding love (issues like trust , fear of rejection and the over importance placed on youth and beauty , and importance of being able trust).
Chapter two covers what it takes to keep a relationship going, the need to release attachment to the ‘single life’, dealing with the anxiety of intimacy and emotional maturity.
Chapter three focuses on the acceptance of self and others and how being obsessed with youth and physical appearance are a hurdle that must be overcome in under order to meet the right person.
Chapter four explores the beliefs that cause the anxiety of the feelings of desperation and the appearance of which can prevent someone form being able to meet others.
Chapter five helps the reader to evaluate his own availability and the availability of others to make serious commitment. Examples are given of men who are unavailable like those who have not yet grieved the end of a previous relationship, those who are too involved in other pursuits and men who are chronically angry.
Chapter six looks at the positive life affirming aspects of love are explored. This chapter also looks at how to realistically prepare your life and yourself to be involved in a relationship. Joint decision making is also covered.
Chapter seven outlines the core values to develop a clear picture of what type of relationship you are looking for, the readers given an exercise to specifically identify the type of life partner you seek.
Chapter eight points out how an individual’s behaviour can be a self fulfilling prophecy, illustrating how negative expectations can lead to a negative result in finding and sustaining a relationship, why an individual may have developed and been holding on to a ‘negative belief’ system and what can be done to address and change a negative pattern.
Chapter nine is about where and how to meet people and the importance of feeling comfortable while doing so, it also mentions the variety of places and environments where its possible to meet people and the advantages and disadvantages of meeting in those places. The individual’s personal power and role in meeting people is highlighted.
Chapter ten provides strategies of how to cope with fear and rejection, and how to conquer rejection and freely move towards the person that you desire.
Chapter eleven points out to the reader the counter productiveness of unrealistic expectations of a relationship and how to deal with the ugly side of a partner and mistakes that are made in the relationship.
Chapter twelve deals with the importance of risking being intimate and being accepting and embracing one’s own emotional vulnerability.
Chapter thirteen examines managing dating and the anxiety it can cause, summarising the lessons learned in previous chapters. Questions are set up to determine if the man that you are seeing and if he has all that it takes to be a real life partner.

Affirmative Gay Relationships: Key steps in finding a life partner

Affirmative Gay Relationships: Key steps in finding a life partner Image

Neil Kaminsky, 2003.

Key Elements:
Covers all of the theoretical how to’s involved in finding and partner, starting a happy relationship and keeping it going
Written using his personal perspective, real life antidotes and realistic personal situations the author lays out the key steps to involved in encountering a real life partner. A real life partner is defined as, ‘someone who materially enhances your life’. The quotes and information in the book come from gay men who have completed a questionnaire, mental health professionals and the author.

Chapter one covers how what someone does or does or does not do attracts a partner and what gets in the way of finding love (issues like trust , fear of rejection and the over importance placed on youth and beauty , and importance of being able trust).
Chapter two covers what it takes to keep a relationship going, the need to release attachment to the ‘single life’, dealing with the anxiety of intimacy and emotional maturity.
Chapter three focuses on the acceptance of self and others and how being obsessed with youth and physical appearance are a hurdle that must be overcome in under order to meet the right person.
Chapter four explores the beliefs that cause the anxiety of the feelings of desperation and the appearance of which can prevent someone form being able to meet others.
Chapter five helps the reader to evaluate his own availability and the availability of others to make serious commitment. Examples are given of men who are unavailable like those who have not yet grieved the end of a previous relationship, those who are too involved in other pursuits and men who are chronically angry.
Chapter six looks at the positive life affirming aspects of love are explored. This chapter also looks at how to realistically prepare your life and yourself to be involved in a relationship. Joint decision making is also covered.
Chapter seven outlines the core values to develop a clear picture of what type of relationship you are looking for, the readers given an exercise to specifically identify the type of life partner you seek.
Chapter eight points out how an individual’s behaviour can be a self fulfilling prophecy, illustrating how negative expectations can lead to a negative result in finding and sustaining a relationship, why an individual may have developed and been holding on to a ‘negative belief’ system and what can be done to address and change a negative pattern.
Chapter nine is about where and how to meet people and the importance of feeling comfortable while doing so, it also mentions the variety of places and environments where its possible to meet people and the advantages and disadvantages of meeting in those places. The individual’s personal power and role in meeting people is highlighted.
Chapter ten provides strategies of how to cope with fear and rejection, and how to conquer rejection and freely move towards the person that you desire.
Chapter eleven points out to the reader the counter productiveness of unrealistic expectations of a relationship and how to deal with the ugly side of a partner and mistakes that are made in the relationship.
Chapter twelve deals with the importance of risking being intimate and being accepting and embracing one’s own emotional vulnerability.
Chapter thirteen examines managing dating and the anxiety it can cause, summarising the lessons learned in previous chapters. Questions are set up to determine if the man that you are seeing and if he has all that it takes to be a real life partner.

Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *